[ Friends and
Family | Philosophy | Quotes | Links
]
"Hello, my name's Paul Calf, support Man City. Like drinking,
like a laugh, chat, you know - bit of a debate, argument, scrap,
fight, punch up, break some bloke's nose. I like
life."
Friends and
Family
- Bob
"Hello, I'm Bob
- Fat Bob - Paul's best mate and I am a car mechanic. We met twenty
years ago. I was sitting on a swing eating a sherbert fountain and
Paul come over and said "Have you got a light for my fag?". And I
said "No." So then he said "Give us a bit of your Sherbert
Fountain". So I said "No." So then, he emptied it over my head and
pushed me off the swing and I cracked my head open - I had to have
nine stitches."
- Pauline
"I'm Pauline
Calf, Paul's sister. I work in the Chemist's at the moment, but I'd
really like to be a beautician in a salon. I'm 24, single, and
gagging for it. No, I'm only joking. I'm 25."
- Roland
"A
student."
- Julie - My
ex
"Yeah, she's
special. She'd do little things for me like, er bleach my hair wash
my underpants. Wash my hair, bleach my underpants - you know it
didn't matter as long as we was together. Only woman I've ever
loved - apart from my Mam."
"I love
Julie, I can't lie any more - I'd do anything to get her back. I'd
give up drinking - I'd cut down, on spirits, during the week. The
point is I'd change."
- Tony -
Julie's new boyfriend
"Owner and
driver of a Peugeot 205 GTi - that's
shit!"
Philosophy - my thoughts
on life.
"Having a body that drives women wild is a bit like having a green
Ford Cortina mark 4 - you've either got one or you haven't. And
I've got one."
"There comes
a time when a man has to stand up and say 'Yes I am Paul Calf. I've
done some bad things, but if you can't accept me with all my
paradox, well I'm sorry. But I make no apologies for that.' All I'm
asking for is a little respect."
Quotes
- On Paul's Green Ford
Cortina Mark 4:
- Paul: "That
is class. You can't buy class."
Bob: "Where did you get the fog lamps?"
Paul:"Halfords." - Mp3 sound clip | Send
to a friend using mymailvox
- Paul meets Roland:
- Roland: "I'm sorry is
there a problem?"
Paul: "I'm sorry is there a problem?"
Roland: "Is there?"
Paul: "Yeah, you!"
Roland: "Why?"
Paul: "You're a student!" - Mp3 sound clip
| Send
to a friend using mymailvox
- Paul to Roland:
- "Are you calling my
car a queer?" - Mp3 sound clip
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mymailvox
- Paul to Roland:
- "You say another word,
a little word, anything - I'll hit you!" - Mp3 sound clip
| Send to a friend using
mymailvox
- Paul to Roland:
- "I should have taken
my ring off before I hit you - sorry!"
- Mp3 sound clip
| Send to a friend using
mymailvox
- Cigarette Lighters and Life:
- Paul: "Disposable!"
Roland: "Aren't we all?"
Bob:"You can get refills." - Mp3 sound clip
| Send to a friend
using mymailvox
- Paul to Pauline:
- "We could stand around
here chatting all day, but er, but we can't." - Mp3 sound
clip | Send
to a friend using mymailvox
- Paul to Pauline:
- "Shut up will you!"
- Mp3 sound clip
| Send to a friend using
mymailvox
- Paul to Tony:
- "Forgive me, but you've
got shit shoes on - you shitty shoed bastard!" - Mp3
sound clip
| Send to a friend
using mymailvox
- Pauline to Paul:
- "If brains were shit
you wouldn't have a sniff!"
- Mp3 sound clip
| Send to a friend
using mymailvox
- Pauline to Paul:
- "If you didn't whistle
you wouldn't know where to wipe your arse - you daft bastard." - Mp3
sound clip
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mymailvox
- Tomorrow:
- Paul's Mum: "Tomorrow
never comes."
Paul: "Yes it does. It did yesterday!" - Mp3 sound clip
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using mymailvox
- Paul to Bob:
- "Come on Bob, let's
get pissed!" - Mp3 sound clip
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using mymailvox
- Tony to Paul:
- "Did no one ever tell
you - that you're a twat Paul?"
- Mp3 sound clip
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mymailvox
- Paul about Bob:
- "Bob the Blob, fat blobby
bastard Bob." - Mp3 sound clip
| Send to a friend using
mymailvox
Links
people have been arsed to look at Paul Calf's Home
Page.
© 1996 dontmakemethink
All Rights Reserved.